This impending feeling of doom I’ve had was simply

a manifestation of the underlying reality that I can’t do all of the things I want to do at the same time and my resentment of that fact since I am an workaholic.

I want to 4.0 student, attend all honors college events, participate in PTK honor society, be part of a dance crew, manage the dance crew, have time on the side to learn kpop, play bass, play guitar, write music, learn music theory, learn new things for guitar, be managing editor of miambiance, write poetry, write short stories, submit poetry to contests, apply to 16 universities, earn scholarships, draw, see my boyfriend, take extra dance and music classes, hang out with my friends, keep my house clean, clean my car, make videos again, feed my cats, read my philosophy book, hang with my family, read for fun, read for school, and watch lost.

I’ve been doing about 90% of the above, yet frustrated I can’t do 100%. 

I have to realize I have time in the future, and I have to take things one step at a time. I have to be happy with a human 90. 

This post is weird, but it felt good to get it out, so here it is.